Rejections suck… I get it! There is no sugar coating it.

When you’re going through a separation it can feel like the world is collapsing around you.  Everything becomes hard and painful. The thoughts that relentlessly remind you of your ex, the places you went to together, the songs on the radio… it all sucks and you want to get over it and move on.  I get it!

So get angry, be upset and vent, release the frustration if that helps, but don’t… DON’T stay in this phase. That would be a big mistake.

I speak to a lot of women who get stuck here; frustrated and blaming… essentially ‘man-hating’. They believe all the problems in their life are a result of being rejected or not having a partner and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Pretty soon the thinking becomes ALL men are the problem.  Sure it feels good for a bit to point the finger and skirt responsibility, but ultimately it has you trapped in a thinking that doesn’t serve you OR bring out your best.

So what to do about it?  Well I’ve put together a short video for you with some easy steps to take.

• Start with bringing awareness to your conversations.
  Do you blame others?
  Do you use any derogatory language about your ex partners?
  Do you regularly take responsibility for your part in things, even if that is only 1%?
• If you catch yourself blaming – ask yourself
  How am I complicit in creating the circumstances I say I don’t want?
• What thinking/behaviours would need to be different from me to solve/avoid this problem going forward? And;
  Take action on whatever answers come out of that exploration.

Follow these steps and it will free you from that stuck feeling of living in the past and reliving past hurts and pains.