Are you loosing your sense of self in a relationship?
Let’s imagine you enter into a relationship believing you can ‘fix’ the other person, or that you will be able to change them. You have a strong desire and nurturing nature to help others which creates a behavior of trying to fix others without knowing if that’s what they want.
Sometimes this can come across as needy and over baring. As a result it’s hard to understand why people might push that away. If that is happening to you, it probably reinforces your need to do more, chasing their love and need to be accepted, than doing less, am I right?
SOLUTION
Wanting to fix others is often a strategy for not ‘fixing’ yourself. It’s a behavior that enables you to avoid looking at the real problem, which is a deep need to be loved, supported and cared for.
You might have the belief that if you can heal others, they will heal you back and unfortunately this is rarely the case. More often it generates a series of bad relationship behavior patterns that don’t end well for either partner.
Think of it like watering a plant only when it flowers, which is like only being kind to yourself when you ‘think’ you deserve it. Self-compassion and kindness are NOT indulgence’s, they are possibly some of the most important qualities we have has human beings.
How do you treat yourself with kindness, support, honesty and love – How could you be your own best friend to yourself each and every day?
Just imagine for a moment… if your very best friend and most important person in the world needed your love, how would you show that? What would you do or say so that they had a sense of your love?
